Engelska Hjälp..

[NightMaker]

Hej, läraren sa att jag skulle förkorta min bokrecension rätt mycket och rätta till min engelska, haha :D

 

Någon som har lust att hjälpa? skulle kunna ge en stor summa Fuskamynt :) Är inte direkt kung på engelska, haha :)

 

Texten:

 

The book is about Patience Philips and how she became catwomen. Patience works at Hedare beauty as an advert designer. Her best friend Sally works also at the same company. Patience lives alone in an apartment in the United states.

One night she couldent sleep because her neighbour had a party, when she believe it was over she heard a cat on the outside of the window. Patience look out and there it was. She called at the cat but the cat dident com to her, so she decide to go out on the window still and fetch the cat. On the outside she climb on a metal-box to come closer the cat. below she hear a man scream on the street - Don't do it! , Don't jump! oh no he believe i chall jump think Patience. 1 sec later the metal-box started to fall from the wall. She shouted on help and the police man who's name is Tom Lone came and rescue her .

Later same day Patience Philips had promised her boss George Header to leave an importent advert design at the midnight because George header wasent satisfied with the first job she done with the hue.

half past eleven on the night, Patience take a taxi to the header beauty factory to leave the design to George. She tried to open the door but it was locked, but soon she found another door open. Back of the factory she could see lights. she walk to the room and she hear voices, the voices talks about the beau-line cream and that the cream going to destroy women's face if they use it. She try to escape and run away but she run to fast and crashed in to a tabel.

Two men come after her and she climbed inside one of the pipes,the she reached the end. now it was a river between her and 200 meters of nothing. suddenly the men had opened the pipes and water throwing her down. hour later she woked up with dirty clothes and she heard a miaow. It's the same cat she should help before. she lookt at the cat's address on the neck and took the cat home.

a women opened the door, the women had cat's everywhere, she sad that the cat had rescue patience to not die. the cat name's was midnight and de women told patience that the cat can do special things. patience had now became catwomen.

patience resign her job as advert designer. And begin to find out who's lie about the company secret. She think that George Header is the baddy. when patience coming home she cut her hair and put leather clothes and mask on thinks that she had got from sally and Lance for her birtday.

 

[Rullis]

Förlåt men jag har verkligen svårt för att läsa den här texten. Grammatiken är verkligen inte på toppen.

[Escain]

Office paketet Word eller Open Office, språk engelska, så får du bort en hel del stavfel...

[Hivee]

Lär dig engelska istället, din lärare kommer märka om du går från skit till utmärkt på en kväll

[Guggo]

Vad alla andra sa. Om vi rättar texten åt dig så lär du dig inte. Dock, lite tips;

 

1. Lär dig skillnaden på cats och cat's.

2. Lär dig hur man drar ihop ord på engelska. Do not blir don't, does not blir doesn't osv.

3. Stavning och grammatik rent generellt.

4. Du använder slang lite då och då, vilket naturligtvis inte är acceptabelt. Det heter INTE baddy och sec. Baddy borde skrivas som baddie i vilket fall, men du borde byta ut det till ett bättre ord.

[fishmaster]

Hej, läraren sa att jag skulle förkorta min bokrecension rätt mycket och rätta till min engelska, haha :D

 

Någon som har lust att hjälpa? skulle kunna ge en stor summa Fuskamynt :) Är inte direkt kung på engelska, haha :)

 

Texten:

The book is about Patience Philips and how she became catwomen.

("The book, [namn], is about a woman named Patience Philips, and how she later became [the one called] Cat Woman.")

 

Patience works at Hedare beauty as an advert designer.

(Lägg till något generellt faktum om henne, "She [....] + "and works at the Hedare Beauty shop as an advertising manager")

 

Her best friend Sally works also at the same company. Patience lives alone in an apartment in the United states.

("Her best friend Sally also works there. Outside of work, Patience lives alone in an apartment in [stadens namn].")

 

One night she couldent sleep because her neighbour had a party, when she believe it was over she heard a cat on the outside of the window.

("One night she was unable to sleep due to her neighbour having a loud party. When it finally seemed to end, she heard a cat outside.")

 

Patience look out and there it was. She called at the cat but the cat dident com to her, so she decide to go out on the window still and fetch the cat. ("Patience looked out the window and saw it. She tried to call the cat over to her but it ignored her. Patience opened the window and climbed out in an attempt to grab the cat to safety.")

 

On the outside she climb on a metal-box to come closer the cat. below she hear a man scream on the street - Don't do it! , Don't jump! oh no he believe i chall jump think Patience.

("When she was outside the window, she cautiously climbed towards the oblivious cat. From far below her on the street, a man was yelling her not to jump. Frightened she realizes that people down below thinks she's about to commit suicide.")

 

1 sec later the metal-box started to fall from the wall. She shouted on help and the police man who's name is Tom Lone came and rescue her .

(vad är det för 'metal box' egentligen? "Just a fraction of a second later---

As she held on, she shouted after help in panic. Just in time, a police officer helped her up. After a brief sigh of relief he told her his name, Tom Lone.")

 

Later same day Patience Philips had promised her boss George Header to leave an importent advert design at the midnight because George header wasent satisfied with the first job she done with the hue.

(detta borde ha berättats innan hela grejen med katten, "The very same day, she had promised her employer, George Header, to finish an urgent design for an advertisement which was due before midnight. The last one got rejected since Mr Header had complained about the coloring.")

 

half past eleven on the night, Patience take a taxi to the header beauty factory to leave the design to George. She tried to open the door but it was locked, but soon she found another door open.

("With half an hour to spare, Patience took a taxi to the company's factory in order to leave the design on George's desk. However, the main door was locked. She walked around the building and found another door, which was unlocked."

 

Back of the factory she could see lights. she walk to the room and she hear voices, the voices talks about the beau-line cream and that the cream going to destroy women's face if they use it. She try to escape and run away but she run to fast and crashed in to a tabel.

("Inside, she realized that some lights were turned on inside a nearby room. As she walked closer she could hear voices inside, speaking about a Beauty creme, that'd cause severe cosmetic damage to the user. Frightened she runs off, in her panic she accidentally runs into a table, falling over."

 

Two men come after her and she climbed inside one of the pipes,the she reached the end. now it was a river between her and 200 meters of nothing. suddenly the men had opened the pipes and water throwing her down.

("She saw a couple of men coming for her, but she managed to escape by entering one of the nearby pipes. After a while she reached the end of it. In front of her ", förklara gärna var dessa rör var, "In front of her, the river ran. Two hundred meters across.... jag kan inte tolka följande mening, så jag gör det på svenska för skojs skull 'Plötsligt hade männen öppnat rören och vatten kastade ner henne.)

 

hour later she woked up with dirty clothes and she heard a miaow. It's the same cat she should help before. she lookt at the cat's address on the neck and took the cat home.

("An hour later, Patience woke up, her clothes completely soiled from the mud and dirt. Suddenly she heard a cat nearby. AND HOLY GODDAMN PICKLES it was the same cat she had tried to rescue earlier. She checked the cat's necklace for an adress, found one and brought the cat to it's home.")

 

a women opened the door, the women had cat's everywhere, she sad that the cat had rescue patience to not die. the cat name's was midnight and de women told patience that the cat can do special things. patience had now became catwomen.

("She knocked on the door, and a woman answered. She obviously had a lot of cats, Patience noted, seeing all the cats inside the house. The woman told her that the cat she has brought home was named Midnight. She also told her that the cat had supernatural powers. ((här vill du kanske förklara VARFÖR--)) From that moment onwards Patience was the Cat Woman.")

 

 

patience resign her job as advert designer. And begin to find out who's lie about the company secret. She think that George Header is the baddy. when patience coming home she cut her hair and put leather clothes and mask on thinks that she had got from sally and Lance for her birtday.

("Patience quit her job, and felt obliged to unveil what had been going on there. She suspects Mr Header has something to do with it. When she came home she shortens her hair, put on some very revealing latex clothing and a mask, along with some accessories she had recieved from her friends on her birthday.")

 

Så om vi struntar i det uppenbara som stavfel, repetitiva meningar och grammatiska fel så undrar jag, är det verkligen en recension? Du förklarar ju bara bokens plot, inte vad du tyckte om den eller varför. Du behöver även ett avslutande stycke, något som sammanfattar bokens händelser och vad du tyckte om den.

Redigerat 15 November 2010 av fishmaster

[NightMaker]

Hej, läraren sa att jag skulle förkorta min bokrecension rätt mycket och rätta till min engelska, haha :D

 

Någon som har lust att hjälpa? skulle kunna ge en stor summa Fuskamynt :) Är inte direkt kung på engelska, haha :)

 

Texten:

The book is about Patience Philips and how she became catwomen.

("The book, [namn], is about a woman named Patience Philips, and how she later became [the one called] Cat Woman.")

 

Patience works at Hedare beauty as an advert designer.

(Lägg till något generellt faktum om henne, "She [....] + "and works at the Hedare Beauty shop as an advertising manager")

 

Her best friend Sally works also at the same company. Patience lives alone in an apartment in the United states.

("Her best friend Sally also works there. Outside of work, Patience lives alone in an apartment in [stadens namn].")

 

One night she couldent sleep because her neighbour had a party, when she believe it was over she heard a cat on the outside of the window.

("One night she was unable to sleep due to her neighbour having a loud party. When it finally seemed to end, she heard a cat outside.")

 

Patience look out and there it was. She called at the cat but the cat dident com to her, so she decide to go out on the window still and fetch the cat. ("Patience looked out the window and saw it. She tried to call the cat over to her but it ignored her. Patience opened the window and climbed out in an attempt to grab the cat to safety.")

 

On the outside she climb on a metal-box to come closer the cat. below she hear a man scream on the street - Don't do it! , Don't jump! oh no he believe i chall jump think Patience.

("When she was outside the window, she cautiously climbed towards the oblivious cat. From far below her on the street, a man was yelling her not to jump. Frightened she realizes that people down below thinks she's about to commit suicide.")

 

1 sec later the metal-box started to fall from the wall. She shouted on help and the police man who's name is Tom Lone came and rescue her .

(vad är det för 'metal box' egentligen? "Just a fraction of a second later---

As she held on, she shouted after help in panic. Just in time, a police officer helped her up. After a brief sigh of relief he told her his name, Tom Lone.")

 

Later same day Patience Philips had promised her boss George Header to leave an importent advert design at the midnight because George header wasent satisfied with the first job she done with the hue.

(detta borde ha berättats innan hela grejen med katten, "The very same day, she had promised her employer, George Header, to finish an urgent design for an advertisement which was due before midnight. The last one got rejected since Mr Header had complained about the coloring.")

 

half past eleven on the night, Patience take a taxi to the header beauty factory to leave the design to George. She tried to open the door but it was locked, but soon she found another door open.

("With half an hour to spare, Patience took a taxi to the company's factory in order to leave the design on George's desk. However, the main door was locked. She walked around the building and found another door, which was unlocked."

 

Back of the factory she could see lights. she walk to the room and she hear voices, the voices talks about the beau-line cream and that the cream going to destroy women's face if they use it. She try to escape and run away but she run to fast and crashed in to a tabel.

("Inside, she realized that some lights were turned on inside a nearby room. As she walked closer she could hear voices inside, speaking about a Beauty creme, that'd cause severe cosmetic damage to the user. Frightened she runs off, in her panic she accidentally runs into a table, falling over."

 

Two men come after her and she climbed inside one of the pipes,the she reached the end. now it was a river between her and 200 meters of nothing. suddenly the men had opened the pipes and water throwing her down.

("She saw a couple of men coming for her, but she managed to escape by entering one of the nearby pipes. After a while she reached the end of it. In front of her ", förklara gärna var dessa rör var, "In front of her, the river ran. Two hundred meters across.... jag kan inte tolka följande mening, så jag gör det på svenska för skojs skull 'Plötsligt hade männen öppnat rören och vatten kastade ner henne.)

 

hour later she woked up with dirty clothes and she heard a miaow. It's the same cat she should help before. she lookt at the cat's address on the neck and took the cat home.

("An hour later, Patience woke up, her clothes completely soiled from the mud and dirt. Suddenly she heard a cat nearby. AND HOLY GODDAMN PICKLES it was the same cat she had tried to rescue earlier. She checked the cat's necklace for an adress, found one and brought the cat to it's home.")

 

a women opened the door, the women had cat's everywhere, she sad that the cat had rescue patience to not die. the cat name's was midnight and de women told patience that the cat can do special things. patience had now became catwomen.

("She knocked on the door, and a woman answered. She obviously had a lot of cats, Patience noted, seeing all the cats inside the house. The woman told her that the cat she has brought home was named Midnight. She also told her that the cat had supernatural powers. ((här vill du kanske förklara VARFÖR--)) From that moment onwards Patience was the Cat Woman.")

 

 

patience resign her job as advert designer. And begin to find out who's lie about the company secret. She think that George Header is the baddy. when patience coming home she cut her hair and put leather clothes and mask on thinks that she had got from sally and Lance for her birtday.

("Patience quit her job, and felt obliged to unveil what had been going on there. She suspects Mr Header has something to do with it. When she came home she shortens her hair, put on some very revealing latex clothing and a mask, along with some accessories she had recieved from her friends on her birthday.")

 

Så om vi struntar i det uppenbara som stavfel, repetitiva meningar och grammatiska fel så undrar jag, är det verkligen en recension? Du förklarar ju bara bokens plot, inte vad du tyckte om den eller varför. Du behöver även ett avslutande stycke, något som sammanfattar bokens händelser och vad du tyckte om den.

 

Tack så hemskt mycket, ska kolla igenom det nu och se vad jag gör fel och ta lärdom av det :)

Mjo, det är en bokrecension men bara början på den. behövde din hjälp för att se vad jag gör fel och insåg nu att det är enromt mycket fel O.o :)