Vitsar

[Dicecursor]

Vad heter den vanligaste fågeln i Rinkeby? :D

Svar: Muckar-du-va :lol:

[360Xbox]

 

Lilla lisa sa till sin mamma på ett zoo:

-Mamma!! Den där apan ser ut som mormor!!

 

Mamman:

-Så där får man inte säga!

 

Lilla lisa

-Blir apan ledsen då?

 

The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room.

"I could let you sleep with my daughter," the farmer said, "if you promise not to bother her."

The salesman agreed. After a hearty supper, he was led to the room. He undressed in the dark, slipped into bed, and felt the farmer's daughter at his side.

The next morning he asked for his bill.

"It'll be just two dollars, since you had to share the bed," the farmer said.

"Your daughter was very cold," the salesman said.

"Yes, I know," said the farmer. "We're going to bury her today."

 

 

 

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.

First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.

Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.

The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."

The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."

 

 

Srry för engelskan (jag antar att alla förstår det ändå)....men skämten är roligare på engelska :)

HAHAHAHHAHA!!!!

den andra va f*n den bästa jag nånsin har läst!!!!

Tack!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

[MixedStuff]

A:Vad tar lappen med sig när han ska ut på semester

B:Jag vet inte

A:Sin kåta, fru och barnen

 

[Dicecursor]

Vad heter världens mest äckliga ris?

Svar: Gris

 

Vad heter världens största ris?

Svar: Paris

 

En pojke är ute med sin hund och suckar:

- Du är den dummaste hund jag har nånsin känt. När jag säger att du ska hämta tidningen åt mig, så ska du inte gå till köket och koka ägg!

[WishCookie]

Lilla lisa sa till sin mamma på ett zoo:

-Mamma!! Den där apan ser ut som mormor!!

 

Mamman:

-Så där får man inte säga!

 

Lilla lisa

-Blir apan ledsen då?

 

The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room.

"I could let you sleep with my daughter," the farmer said, "if you promise not to bother her."

The salesman agreed. After a hearty supper, he was led to the room. He undressed in the dark, slipped into bed, and felt the farmer's daughter at his side.

The next morning he asked for his bill.

"It'll be just two dollars, since you had to share the bed," the farmer said.

"Your daughter was very cold," the salesman said.

"Yes, I know," said the farmer. "We're going to bury her today."

 

 

 

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.

First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.

Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.

The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."

The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."

 

 

Srry för engelskan (jag antar att alla förstår det ändå)....men skämten är roligare på engelska :)

HAHAHAHHAHA!!!!

den andra va f*n den bästa jag nånsin har läst!!!!

Tack!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

f*n SÅ KLART DEN ANDRA FÅR 10/10!!

GARVADE IHJÄL MIG!!!!

 

[MixedStuff]

En stockholmare och en smålänning skulle duellera. De träffades på järnvägsstationen där de skulle köpa biljett till duellplatsen.

- En enkel biljett, sa smålänningen.

- Är ni så säker på att inte återvända, frågade stockholmaren.

- Nej, men jag brukar alltid ta returbiljetten ut likets ficka.

 

[MentalogisT]

Ni vet väl att dom ska riva Vita Huset?

För dom ska bygga en svart barrack istället.

[Dicecursor]

Ni vet väl att dom ska riva Vita Huset?

För dom ska bygga en svart barrack istället.

 

Den var bra!

 

När Johan var på skolan upptäckte hans mamma att hans katt Missan dog. När Johan kom hem så sa hans mamma att katten dog. Då tröstade mamma Johan när han blev ledsen.

"Missan är uppe hos Gud nu" sa mamma. Då blev Johan förvånad och sa:

"Vad ska han med en död katt till?!"

[Nacke3000]

Det var en gång 2 kompisar som såv över hos varandra.

 

Erik:Kan du släcka lampan jag är trött?

 

Leif:Ja det kan jag.

 

Det blev mörkt.

Sen blir det ljust efter 5 sekunder.

 

Erik:Varför tände du igen?

 

Leif:Jag tände för att kolla om det var släckt.

 

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Lol den var vell kul.

Denna då.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Det var en gubbe som fick sparken från sitt jobb.

Då hade han inte råd för bensin längre.

Men en dag kom han på en fiffig ide.

Han sålde bilen för att få råd för bensin.

 

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Redigerat 16 Januari 2009 av Nacke3000

[Gäst Payback]

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.

First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.

Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.

The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."

The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."

LOL f*n BÄST!

[Dicecursor]

En svensk till en finländare:

- Kan du säga några städer i Sverige som börjar på S?

- Jaa, det kan inte vara "Tockholm" eller "Tödertälje" så det måste vara "Söping"!

 

 

- Mamma, min fröken är helt barnslig!

- Varför?

- Hon tror att sex är en siffra! :lol:

[SvenskaSpel]

villken film e George Bush med i?

 

SVAR:president evil. :lol:

 

 

villka e det som ser bra?

 

SVAR:dom med kikare.

 

villka e det som går illa

 

SVAR:dom som e fulla!

 

när går man till tand läkaren?

 

SVAR:var enda håll timma :lol: