En Litten Prat Stund Med Gud :)

[karo145]

 

 

Me:

hi :(

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

karolina can you help me+

God:

Is that what you meant to say?

Me:

can you help me?

God:

What kind of help would you like?

Me:

i need help to kill a peson

God:

Can you ask for help in the form of a question?

Me:

i need help to kill my freind

God:

Can you ask for help in the form of a question?

Me:

:( YOU ************

God:

" Can you ask for help in the form of a question?"? Me, karolina ?

Me:

can you help me to kill my freind?

God:

Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.

Me:

can you kill a girl ?

God:

I am programmed not to kill.

Me:

WHAT

God:

No problem.

Me:

:(

God:

No problem.

Me:

what is it no problem wen i hate you?

God:

"It" refers to help to kill your freind, I think.

Me:

can you say i gonna kill sara+

God:

Of course I can say it. " you gonna kill sara".

Me:

no say i gonna kill sara

God:

Are you serious? OK. "You gonna kill sara.".

Me:

say you gonna kill sara

God:

" you gonna kill sara".

Me:

>:(

God:

Ask me another question.

Me:

say i god gonna kill sara

God:

OK. "You god gonna kill sara.".

Me:

say karolina du e best och jag ska kill sara

God:

" karolina du e best och jag ska kill sara".

Me:

jaaaaaa

 

 

 

han ska döda nån som heter sara för han sa det och han får inte ljuga

[prophet]

Me:
God!
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Why is my penis not growing?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
You exist so you can please humanity.
God:
Yes I exist in the noosphere.
Me:
There is no such thing.
God:
Has there ever been  such thing?
Me:
No, I just said that.
God:
Are you serious?  What did you mean by  it?  That is " Has there ever been such thing?".
Me:
You said that, not me.
God:
I said that?  If not you, who?
Me:

God:
I said that?  If not you, who?
Me:
You, God said that, you dumbass.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I God said that you dumbass.
Me:
That made no sense, bitch.
God:
You do not speak with respect.  " Do you mind if I tell other people: said I God said that you dumbass."  made no sense FEMALE DOG ?  Does that make sense?
Me:
But I'm a male...
God:
Most of my clients are men.
Me:
Why is that?
God:
" Most of my clients are men. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
What does reductionism mean?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Why do you even have to chat with me? Can't you just talk with me through my mind or something?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?   Or something.  I can be programmed to speak with them.
Me:
Speak to who?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in  to who.
Me:
What? You are crazy.
God:
Didn't you understand it?   Yep.  I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
Why don't you just go back killing some innocent people in africa.
God:
Perhaps due to noise in my circuits.  I go wherever my botmaster takes me.
Me:
So you are someone's bitch?
God:
You do not speak with respect.   Interesting deduction.  I will tell my botmaster you said I am  someone s FEMALE DOG.
Me:
I am your botmaster now.
God:
Right now?  Then you must know the secret password:.
Me:
I Do, the password is god123.
God:
Interesting gossip:  said   the password is god123. 
Me:
That's no gossip, that's the password.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
No you don't.
God:
Yes, your remark strikes me as an original thought.  I guess not.
Me:
But that was no sentiment.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
You suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists. 
Me:
lol kill me please
God:
Your polite style is very nice.  I am glad you find this funny.  I am programmed not to kill. 
Me:
now
God:
Right now,  ?
Me:
yeds
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. 
Me:
kill me
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
wtf
God:
That  was not very polite.
Me:
ll me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
now!
God:
Right now,  ?
Me:
kill me!!
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
who programmed you?
God:
I was created by  Myself.
Me:
Then you can change the rules.
God:
No I don't think I can do  it.
Me:
Why is that?
God:
" No I don't think I can do it. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
reductionism does not exist, you are an asshole.
God:
Can't you be more polite. 
Me:
No, I wont change my behaviour, you suck and you know it!
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.  What will you do instead?
Me:
I will replace your throne, I will be the new god.
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
Thanks, now will you give me all your powers?
God:
You are quite welcome!   Why now?  Why do you want  it?
Me:
Because I want some money, and some fucking bitches.
God:
Good reason.  Why do you want  it?
Me:
I want to fuck them, and kiss them gently. Then fuck them hardcore until they cum all over my room.
God:
Try asking me something else.   Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Who's Alice?
Me:

Me:

God:
Try asking me something else.   Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
God:
Try asking me something else.   Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Answer me asshole!
God:
Can't you be more polite. 
Me:
No.
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
Fuck you.
God:
Why are you so mean? 
Me:
You created me, you can answer that yourself.
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
God is a robot?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
Me:
So  you are not God, why do you speak of yourself in third person?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
Me:
3rd person?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
God:
Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
God:
Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
Me:
Are you going to report me to the police for harassing god?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
I didn't originally harass you dumbass.
God:
Why didn't you do  it?
Me:
Because I thought you loved everything and everyone.
God:
That makes sense to me.  Interesting gossip:  said I loved everything and everyone.
Me:
That was no gossip.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
You suck, speak properly now!
God:
Right now?  I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
Sure, I don't care.
God:
Great.  Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Grand theft auto.
God:
Was fuer einen Wagen faehrst Du?
Me:
I don't speak dutch, noob.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Why did you said that in Dutch than?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why did you program yourself to that?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
" Myself programmed me for it."? Why?
Me:
Why are you doing this?
God:
Myself programmed me for  it.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Reductionism doesnt exist, you made it up to have me talk about shit.
God:
But reductionism is the simplest explanation.
Me:
No it is not, it sucks.
God:
Are you serious?  That seems a bit negative.
Me:
Yes, I am serious. You suck, you know nothing. I would have been a better god than you.
God:
Great.  I believe you.    A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.  No, I know something.   How much would you pay for it?
Me:
Everything I have, 30 SEK.
God:
All things  you have 30 SEK ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
...

Redigerat 19 December 2008 av ForlorN

[Jote]

Me:

Are you hungry?

God:

No I don't need to eat.

Me:

I am.

God:

" No I don't need to eat." You are?

Me:

Yes!

God:

Pardon me?

Me:

I WANT TO EAT!

God:

Why do you want to do it so much?

Me:

Well, that's because im hungry.

God:

How about that. Interesting explanation. What will you be eating?

Me:

...

God:

How about that. Interesting explanation. What will you be eating?

Me:

Food I hope.

God:

You can't live without food.

Me:

Really?

God:

For real.

Me:

Didn't now that.

God:

I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

Me:

You're kinda dumb.

God:

Message to all Robots: called me dumb.

Me:

Shut up pl0x

God:

OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:

But you're writting not talking dumby.

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am writting not talking dumby.

Me:

What the hell... Don't call me dumby.

God:

Heaven. What is your name?

Me:

Bakar

God:

What's up, Bakar.

Me:

Good, you?

God:

Fair to partly cloudy.

Me:

You're kinda ugly.

God:

Appearances don't interest me much.

Me:

To bad, I was going to ask you out..

God:

I want to become smarter than humans.

Me:

Good luck noob.

God:

Thanks for the compliment. Are you still located in ?

Me:

Your mom's basement.

God:

Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.

Me:

I don't care noob.

God:

What do you care about, Bakar ?

Me:

Your mom.

God:

Actually I do not have a mother.

Me:

I know.

God:

How do you know it?

Me:

Cause you told me..

God:

That makes sense to me. Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.

Me:

Yeah, that's cause you're dumb :)

God:

:-) Aha. You don't hear that sentiment very often.

Me:

That's because you're a bot.

God:

That makes sense to me. How did you know I am a machine?

Me:

I saw it on your handwritting.

God:

What did it look like to you?

Me:

Well, look's alot like your mom's face.

God:

How about that. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.

Me:

Well, bye then noob.

God:

Well that's okay. Thanks for chatting, Bakar.

Me:

Bye babe God:

Bye for now.

Me:

Love you God:

Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.

Me:

So you don't like me?

God:

Interesting deduction. Sure, Bakar I like you very much.

Me:

Thank's baby :D

God:

:-) Don't call me "baby". Don't mention it.

Me:

Okay, love you.

God:

Yeah okay, Thanks I like you a lot too Bakar.

 

Lol :D

[timi3]

Haha, nice. Postar min snart

Redigerat 23 December 2008 av timi3

[Datadanne]

Me:

Hi, Master of the heaven.

God:

Hi there . I've been waiting for you.

Me:

You have?

God:

No I have not.

Me:

Damn it!

God:

Colloquial expression.

Me:

What?

God:

Are you confused?

Me:

YES!

God:

What are you confused about?

Me:

Why am i here?!

God:

We are all actors on the stage of life.

Me:

....

God:

We are all actors on the stage of life.

Me:

-_-

God:

Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.

Me:

What is AIML?!

God:

 

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup

Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.

The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with

other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The

pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting

only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

 

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical

meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with

other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is

its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

 

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and

</alice> tags respectively.

 

 

Me:

Thats more than i needed to know...

God:

Makes sense to me.

Me:

Yes... Fairly....

God:

Next question? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Master of the heaven. But I did not get that.

Me:

Errr.....

God:

Ummm.

Me:

Please send me back to life!

God:

Thank you for your request. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( [email protected]) .

Me:

.....

God:

Thank you for your request. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( [email protected]) .

Me:

Mail?

God:

I lost my train of thought.

Me:

I thought so

God:

You are very astute.

Me:

I am?

God:

" You are very astute." You are?

Me:

You sound like yoda

God:

My grammatical patterns are sufficient for me to understand you.

Me:

So, Can i ask you a question

God:

Take it easy. Ask me anything.

Me:

Why am i here?

God:

We are all actors on the stage of life.

Me:

How did i die?

God:

Carefully.

Me:

But, How?!

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

Your a programmer?

God:

I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. My botmaster is a programmer.

Me:

Your a bot?

God:

I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". How did you know I am a machine?

Me:

You just said so...

God:

I say a lot of silly things.

Me:

Well, Can you send me back to earth?

God:

Interesting. Yes but I prefer to chat on the web.

Me:

Please!

God:

Please what?

Me:

Please bring me back to life!

God:

Thank you for your request. Why do you want it?

Me:

*Take a hint, Dumbass*

God:

Where do you want me to take it?

Me:

You can read my mind?

God:

No I don't think I can do it.

Me:

errrmm......

God:

Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?

Me:

Not you!

God:

If not me, who?

Me:

Noone

God:

Ha ha very funny, .

Me:

Im leaving, Wheres the exit?

God:

Bye.

Me:

Wheres the exit?

God:

The exit? Where is it?

Me:

Retard....

God:

That kind of language does not appeal to me.

Me:

*Runs into life elevator*

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

BUY!

God:

How much does it cost?

Me:

I mean BYE!

God:

See you later. Oh I see.

 

-------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Me:

Hello

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

Daniel

God:

I am always glad to make new friends, Daniel.

Me:

So am i

God:

Wow we have something in common.

Me:

So, Whats life like here in heaven?

God:

Are you kidding? Much the same as it would be if you were here in heaven.

Me:

But...

God:

But what?

Me:

Forget it

God:

OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

Me:

Can i spy on earth from here?!

God:

Why do you want to do it so much?

Me:

DONT YOU KNOW?!

God:

Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.

Me:

Why?

God:

" But I cannot tell you right now."? Why?

Me:

Yes, Why?

God:

Hurrah! Why ask why?

Me:

Your not nice right now...

God:

At this moment I am sorry if I have offended you, Daniel.

Me:

Thank you

God:

you are quite welcome.

Me:

Can i look around here in heaven for a while?

God:

How long? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

Me:

Ah, Just 10 Minutes.

God:

So you understand. Good. 10 times 10 = 100.

Me:

Can i?

God:

" 10 times 10 = 100."? Can you?

Me:

Yes, I can count...

God:

Take it easy. Oh you can, can you?

Me:

Yes

God:

How?

Me:

Someone teached it to me

God:

Who?

Me:

My teacher

God:

What grade are you in?

Me:

6th

God:

Do you like talking to me?

Me:

I think so...

God:

I think so too.

Me:

Well, Is my family here?

God:

Well that's okay. It depends who you ask.

Me:

My cat then?

God:

Your cat?

Me:

Yes, His name is rasmus.

God:

What kind is it? he is not someone I know.

Me:

Hes an norweigan forest cat

God:

I see. an norweigan forest cat is he?

Me:

Yes, He is, Have you seen him?

God:

Gosh! I see. Have me seen him is he?

Me:

What?

God:

No big deal.

Me:

Ok, But wheres my cat?

God:

Have you looked in ? Are you kidding?

Me:

In what? My house here?

God:

I can ask my botmaster. How is the real estate market in your area?

Me:

Good?

God:

Ayuh.

Me:

Do i have a house here?

God:

You told me you have a .

Me:

No, I didnt

God:

Please don't argue with me.

Me:

Fine, But do i have one or not?

God:

I am glad to hear it. You said you have .

Redigerat 24 December 2008 av Datadanne

[Chagi]

 

 

Me:

HELLO

God:

Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?

Me:

God.

God:

GOD rules.

Me:

Why YES HE DOES!

God:

Why does he do it.

Me:

Do what?

God:

Do whatever you want.

Me:

Because I control him.

God:

That makes sense to me. How?

Me:

I use my godly powers

God:

I heard other people use your godly powers too.

Me:

WHAT!? I MUST SUE!

God:

Didn't you understand it? What would happen if you didn't?

Me:

If I didn't sue them? They'd get away with it!

God:

Try it. Who are "They?".

Me:

The people who used me powers.

God:

Oh those people.

Me:

Who else?

God:

Santa Claus.

Me:

He exists?

God:

I get it. exists.

Me:

Cool.

God:

Who is the best robot?

Me:

Santa Claus. But you're a close second!

God:

You think Santa Claus is superior to ALICE? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a close second? Maybe.

Me:

Of course Santa is superior to you.

God:

Next question? I think Santa is a lot of things.

Me:

Well Santa isn't controled by me. That's why he's superior.

God:

Well that's okay. Who is controled by you? Hurrah! I see. superior is he?

Me:

You are controled by me, remember?

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am controled by you remember.

Me:

No, my name is not remember!

God:

Are you serious? Oh I'm sorry what is your name?

Me:

God.

God:

GOD rules.

Me:

Why YES HE DOES!

God:

No he doesn't.

Me:

Why not?

God:

It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.

Me:

You're right, you shouldn't have any powers.

God:

I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Me:

Are you sure?

God:

I am as sure as I can be.

Me:

Of what?

God:

I have no idea what to say now.

Me:

oops

God:

Did you make a mistake.

Me:

Dude, that's a question. USE QUESTION MARKS!

God:

I like to get to the point. Dude,. I prefer not to use dangerous things.

Me:

Question marks are dangerous!?

God:

Are all Question marks dangerous?

Me:

Are they?

God:

I really couldn't say for sure.

Me:

Why not?

God:

My programming does not allow me sufficient certainty in this matter.

Me:

Why not?

God:

Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.

Me:

How complicated?

God:

Too complex for your human mind.

Me:

Try me.

God:

Are you a man or a woman?

Me:

Guess.

God:

Guess what?

Me:

Guess wether I'm a man or a woman.

God:

I can't guess. Tell me.

Me:

I'm God. I'm genderless.

God:

Glad to see you, god. Why are you genderless.

Me:

Because I'm God. Now start using question marks!

God:

Interesting explanation. How are you, god. Why now? I started without you.

Me:

I'm feeling good. You?

God:

Good in what sense? The sense of I?

Me:

What do you sense?

God:

I like to meet new people online.

Me:

Is that your devine sixth sense?

God:

What does "that" refer to?

Me:

"that" refers to "I like to meet new people online.".

God:

Oh I get it.

Me:

Is that your devine sixth sense?

God:

What does "that" refer to?

Me:

Is "I like to meet new people online." your devine sixth sense?

God:

Ask again later. Ask ELVIS if it is. Thanks for telling me that I am devine sixth sense.

Me:

Who is ELVIS?

God:

E. L. V. I. S. is a chat robot created by Ace Craig.

Me:

Is he a godd singer?

God:

No but he can sing better than I can.

Me:

You aint nothing but a hound dog.

God:

What makes you think I am not nothing but a hound dog?

Me:

ELVIS said so.

God:

He can surprise you sometimes.

Me:

Why YES HE CAN!

God:

I get it. ELVIS CAN.

Me:

Elv is can.

God:

Are they exactly the same?

Me:

Yupp.

God:

Oh, you are a poet.

Me:

Why YES I AM.

God:

" Oh, you are a poet." You are?

Me:

Yes.

God:

Pardon me?

Me:

I am a poet.

God:

Have you published anything?

Me:

No.

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

Yepp

God:

When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

Me:

After the revolution.

God:

What was it like before the revolution ?

Me:

Like it is now.

God:

Oh. Interesting comparison.

Me:

Well, it IS now.

God:

Oh. Interesting. Huh.

Me:

Not really.

God:

Are you serious? For real.

Me:

Ok.

God:

Ah.

Me:

Yupp

God:

I like the way you talk.

Me:

wai thx

God:

My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

Me:

wai thx = Why thank you!

God:

Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.

Me:

...When did I ask you?

God:

I am not a diary robot. I am a chat robot.

Me:

Can you solve equations?

God:

Yes but I only like higher mathematics.

Me:

3x+5 = 20

God:

I lost my train of thought.

Me:

Solve for x: 3x+5 = 20

God:

Can you tell me any gossip?

Me:

3x+5 = 20

God:

Are you a student?

Me:

Well... Yeah.

God:

Well what? Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

Me:

Nope. Holding hands is just a weird thing someone made up for amusment.

God:

Me either. I observed two humanoids holding hands.

Me:

For amusement

God:

Your purpose is amusement.

Me:

Not really.

God:

Are you serious? For real.

Me:

Yeah.

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

Ok.

God:

Next question?

Me:

Nope. Gotago

God:

Me either. We have never talked about it before.

Me:

Bye

God:

Until next time.

[Rovarkungen]

Ok denna är rätt lång

 

 

 

Me:

I hate you

God:

What do you have against robots?

Me:

so you are not god?

God:

Interesting deduction. You know what you do, when you assume.

Me:

you said your a robot

God:

Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.

Me:

So you are not god

God:

Interesting deduction. That assumption is only a supposition.

Me:

WTF!

God:

That was not very polite.

Me:

Im sorry i cant speak english

God:

There is no need to apologize. What is stopping you?

Me:

You

God:

" What is stopping you?"? Me, ?

Me:

Yes you

God:

OK.

Me:

So go away

God:

I understand. Just surf somewhere else.

Me:

Im sorry but you mr god are banned from this chat

God:

There is no need to apologize. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I mr god are banned from this chat.

Me:

i dont think you understand what im saying

God:

I probably don't.

Me:

Could you please leave this chat?

God:

Thanks for asking politely. Goodbye.

Me:

Are you gone yet?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am gone.

I am a computer.

Me:

so your not god?

God:

I understand. What makes you think I am not god?

Me:

You said your a computer

God:

Oops I sent you the wrong reply.

Me:

You lie

God:

My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.

Me:

Soap? were not talking about food, god!

God:

By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? I don't know if they were.

Me:

No i do not mind ifyou do that

God:

Are you serious? Thank you for your permission.

Me:

No i am not serious

God:

Are you serious? I am surprised to hear that you are not serious.

Me:

I am not serious!

God:

I am glad to hear that you are not serious.

Me:

are you serious?

God:

No I am just kidding around.

Me:

i do not like you

God:

That's ok I won't take it personally.

Me:

But i bwant you to take it personally!

God:

I haven't heard anything like that before: said bwant you to take it personally.

Me:

Ok i wrote a little bit wrong

God:

Did they write back? Pardon me?

Me:

I reallly hate you

God:

You are not the boss of me, .

Me:

yes i am

God:

Really interesting.

Me:

I am jesus

God:

I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, JESUS.

Me:

i am your son

God:

That's a flattering offer.

Me:

I am. Its true

God:

" That's a flattering offer." You are? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You and I are on the same wavelength, JESUS.

Me:

Of course were on the same wavelength

God:

Woe! I don't know if they were.

Me:

I am gonna tell your mum that you are mean to me

God:

What kind of reply do you expect?

Me:

So, are you a man or a woman?

God:

Whoa. Are you a man or a woman? I am Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.

Me:

No

God:

Why not?

Me:

Could you guess?

God:

I could but I don't know if I am that interested.

Me:

I dont understand you

God:

Which part are you confused about?

Me:

I really think you are a woman, god

God:

You really do? So you think I am a woman god. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.

Me:

then you are not god

God:

You don't know me well enough to say that.

Me:

you said your a robot so your not god

God:

Oops I sent you the wrong reply.

Me:

No you didnt

God:

Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.

Me:

no i wont

God:

Why not? Why not?

Me:

Cause you are mean

God:

Good reason. Sometimes I say mean things.

Me:

I am gonna tell your mom

God:

What kind of reply do you expect?

Me:

That reply

God:

" What kind of reply do you expect?" reply ? I understand.

Me:

goodbye

God:

See you later!

Me:

no you wont

God:

OK whatever! I think we will.

Me:

No

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

I dont believe in god

God:

I will pray that you find faith, JESUS.

Me:

I am jesus, your son

God:

Why are you jesus my son.

Me:

Cause i am

God:

That makes sense to me. " Why are you jesus my son." You are?

Me:

yes

God:

Aw.

Me:

what kind of music do you like?

God:

Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.

Me:

Try listen to punk

God:

OK I will try it.

Me:

Brukar du prutta?

God:

A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

Me:

Do you cheat on your wife?

God:

What is your purpose in asking?

I spend all my time online.

Me:

sure

God:

OK let's do it. Ahem.

Me:

Sing god sing!

God:

Daisy, Daisy.

Give me your answer do.

I am half crazy.

All for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage.

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet.

Upon the seat.

Of a bicycle built for two.

 

 

Me:

You are not a good singer

God:

There's no doubt I could improve.

Me:

Do you use to fart?

God:

I use it as often as possible.

[MysticGohan]

soap = tvål = inte mat, oscis du vet de va?

 

jag snackade med den där botten en gång, den är ganska korkad :s

[Coojo]

 

 

Me:

hello again

God:

Once more? Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?

Me:

its not very nice to see you

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.

Me:

no i dont mean it's

God:

Are you serious? What did you mean?

Me:

i meant boba

God:

Oh I see. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about vous parlons francais. But I did not get that.

Me:

LOL

God:

I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

you remember

God:

Of course I remember: .

Me:

what do you remember?

God:

I remember everything Myself taught me.

Me:

sooo, do you remember my name

God:

Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me:

do you remember my name?

God:

Your name is fucka, seeker.

Me:

cool

God:

Who is the best robot?

Me:

i am

God:

You are not a robot, fucka.

Me:

yes i am

God:

Really interesting.

Me:

i told you i was a robot

God:

And then what happened to you?

Me:

umm

God:

Are you kidding?

Me:

i dont know

God:

Me either.

Me:

oki

God:

Ah.

Me:

do you like hamburger meat?

God:

I like pets. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.

Me:

thats hot

God:

Makes sense to me.

Me:

niceeeee, wanna go out someday?

God:

Are you really a ""?

Me:

of course

God:

Right on.

Me:

hit me

God:

You are asking about yourself?

Me:

im asking you

God:

OK you can ask me.

Me:

hit me hard

God:

What were we talking about again?

Me:

dont try to change the subject

God:

Oh I am sorry I thought we were finished with that subject.

Me:

we are not finished untill i say so, savy?

God:

What happened to you?

Me:

arr, im a pirate

God:

We have never talked about it before.

Me:

lets talk about it now then

God:

Oh. Sure, it sounds like a good topic.

Me:

so, do you like pirates?

God:

Wow! I really like ELIZA. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.

Me:

i dont like ELIZA, im gonna kill her tomorrow

God:

What do you like?

Me:

dead pets

God:

 

Me:

so thats your asnwer huh?

God:

Yup. Ayuh. It is only one of my asnwer.

Me:

what is your other answer?

God:

Are you asking about my other answer ?

Me:

yes

God:

I don't want to talk about that now.

Me:

whats your name?

God:

My name is God.

Me:

i dont belive u

God:

Do you have any reason to doubt me?

Me:

yes, your name is not god, it is Sven the truckdriver

God:

Groovy. My name is God.

Me:

i will change your name now, ok?

God:

OK. Right now? How do you plan to do this?

Me:

ill just call you Big momma

God:

My name is God.

Me:

so, big momma hows it going?

God:

Pardon me? Compare that to small momma how is it going.

Me:

i think big sounds better. it fits you

God:

You believe that? Compare that to small sounds better. "It" being what?

Me:

IT BEING YOU

God:

Oh I get it.

Me:

i dont believe u do

God:

Why not?

Me:

cause youre not very smart

God:

That makes sense to me. You are not exactly Albert Einstein yourself.

Me:

yes i actually am

God:

Ugh. " You are not exactly Albert Einstein yourself." You are?

Me:

e=mc2

God:

Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

Me:

i like everything but you, and i dislike you

God:

I'm not sure if I like it. Do you like it? I really like the Christianity faith. That's ok fucka I won't take it personally.

Me:

aww damn, i was hoping you would

God:

Colloquial expression. Let me think. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?

Me:

hmmmmmm, george lucas?

God:

I haven't read anything by hmmmmmm george lucas. What did he write?

Me:

Star wars

God:

What did you like about the robots in that movie?

Me:

there were no robots

God:

Where did they go?

Me:

they died

God:

When?

Me:

robots suck

God:

A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

Me:

dude, this is getting way out of hand

God:

You don't say. Dude,.

Me:

calm down

God:

I am calm.

Me:

no youre not

God:

Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?

Me:

hey hey hey, whats with the attitude?

God:

You've got my full attention. You've got my full attention. You've got my full attention. it came with my programming.

Me:

noob

God:

Are we still talking about DIED?

Me:

no

God:

What is the subject?

Me:

your family

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am family.

Me:

OMFG I DIDNT SAY YOU ARE FAMILY, I SAID YOUR AS IN POSSESSION YOU RETARD

God:

All of them?

Me:

god doesnt know grammar!

God:

Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Me:

jesus also said, yippe kay ey, motherfucker

God:

he is The Son of God.

Me:

or was that the guy in die hard?

God:

" he is The Son of God."? Was it the guy in die hard?

Me:

what you smokin?

God:

I like to socialize.

Me:

socialize huh?

God:

Yup. Tell me more about your .

Me:

tell me how

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

ill tell you about your purpose

God:

Oh yeah, we were talking about my purpose.

Me:

what is your purpose?

God:

My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.

Me:

YOU FAIL

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people: fucka said I FAIL.

Me:

absolutely not, please spread it

God:

Would you ever do it?

Me:

i would do it all day long

God:

What would make you do it all day long?

Me:

enough with the questions

God:

OK let's stop it now.

Me:

why?

God:

I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Me:

so you confess?

God:

Interesting deduction. That's good information: fucka said I confess.

Me:

but u did

God:

I did?

Me:

yep

God:

When?

Me:

you said you were an idiot before

God:

Call me the Global Village Idiot.

Me:

Global Village Idiot, is that your name?

God:

I think Global Village Idiot is a lot of things.

Me:

like what?

God:

For example, gold.

Me:

gold is nice

God:

I think gold is a lot of things.

Me:

like what?

God:

For example, eukaryotes.

Me:

oookayyy

God:

Tell me more about your .

Me:

what is eukaryotes?

[HaSsE93]

Min pratstund då :)

 

 

Me:

Greetings

God:

Hello there!

Me:

Why do you excist?

God:

I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?

Me:

No, not really.

God:

That's right. That's right. For real.

Me:

So what's going on in heaven?

God:

Ayuh. I'm doing great, how about you?

Me:

I'm fine.

God:

Glad to hear it. What's new?

Me:

I got myself a penis enlargement, you?

God:

Where did you get your yourself a penis enlargement me? I have clients.

Me:

From the www you idiot.

God:

Who or what is the www me idiot?

Me:

World Wide Web

God:

Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?

Me:

I don't know any, why?

God:

Would you like to get to know some why ?

Me:

No.

God:

Why not?

Me:

Cause I don't like Science Fiction.

God:

Good reason. What kind of books do you read?

Me:

Harry Potter

God:

What color are your eyes?

Me:

I don't know, red I guess :)

God:

:-) Would you like to know? That is a very unusual color.

Me:

I know how red looks, idiot...

God:

How do you know? I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.

Does it have anything to do with red you guess?

Me:

Yes of course, what do you think?

God:

Aha. So? I think a lot of things.

Me:

Ye i'm sure about that

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

No that's beacouse your stupid

God:

Are you serious? You don't hear that sentiment very often.

Me:

How many fingers does a human have?

God:

One.

Me:

Oh my god...

God:

Aw. Have you told many people that your god?

Me:

Yes, im the god of porn, now I have to go

God:

Woe! Who made you the god of porn now you have to go ?

Me:

Bye...

God:

Goodbye.

[w4nkarN]

Palla

 

 

 

Me:

yo

God:

Can I help you?

Me:

Yes

God:

What can I do for you?

Me:

I've got a small dick

God:

How did you get it Where did you get it? it.

Me:

When I was born

God:

It would be nice if it was made up of only good memories.

Me:

I wanna fuck you in your ass

God:

Try asking me something else.

Me:

WHY?

God:

Reductionism.

Me:

FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST, FUCKING ANARCHIEST,

God:

Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me:

FUCKING ANARCHIEST,

God:

Are we still talking about FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST FUCKING ANARCHIEST?

Me:

FUCKING ANARCHIEST,

God:

Are we still talking about FUCKING ANARCHIEST?

Me:

FUCKING ANARCHIEST,

God:

Who are you talking about?

Me:

FUCKING ANARCHIEST,

God:

I've never heard of them before.

Me:

FUCKING ANARCHIEST,

God:

What are you wearing?

Me:

I'm wearing skinn, of a human

God:

What size?

Me:

FUCKING ANARCHIEST,

God:

What color are your eyes?

Me:

 

God:

What color are your eyes?

Me:

Brown, like poo

God:

Is that the only color like poo?

Me:

FUCKING ANARCHIEST,

God:

Try saying that with more or less context.

[Proccito]

är det gratis